Last night my 4-year-old son lost his favorite plush toy frog.
This isn’t any frog, however. This was a specially ordered CoQui frog direct from Puerto Rico, which makes the “Ko-Kee” high-pitched noise when snuggled tightly. He has been obsessed with the Puerto Rican CoQui frogs ever since his 4K class introduced a traveling plush CoQui that got to visit each child’s home as a part of their pen-pals unit.
All it took was one night of the original CoQui frog visiting our home, and he was attached. So much so, that I spent over a week diligently researching how I could find as close to an exact replica as possible and ended up spending more money than I’d care to admit on his very own stuffed animal CoQui. (And before you start forming any judgements on my incessant need to spoil my kids, I’d ask you to remember that he’s the baby of the family, has a grin that could get him out of crimes, and shed huge crocodile tears returning the original CoQui to school so another friend could have a turn. So, I caved. 😊)
It’s been a few weeks of his very own CoQui living in our home, and they have rarely been separated. We’ve done our best to constantly keep an eye on him (CoQui, that is), to ensure he’s not sitting too close to the cereal bowls that seem to constantly spill at breakfast, or that he’s not “jumping” in any red-sauce spaghetti plates at dinner, and to make sure he doesn’t sneak into my son’s backpack for a day at school, where Lord only knows where he could end up. My son and CoQui are inseparable otherwise.
…until last night.
As it approached bedtime, my 4-year old’s anxiety peaked.
“Mommy,” he said, voice trembling and tears forming, “I can’t find CoQui!”
“OK,” I reassured. “I’m sure he’s somewhere around here. He loves to hide and seek, so let’s all start looking.”
After about 15 minutes of turning the house upside down, CoQui was still missing. Bedtime had come and gone, but I knew there was little chance of my son settling down enough to actually sleep until we located his precious stuffed animal friend.
“Bodie,” I said, as he sobbed, “let’s first take a deep breath. …In through your nose, and out through your mouth… 1….2….3…. That’s really good, buddy,” I said, as calmly as possible.
“Now let’s take another big deep breath, only this time, if you’re OK with it, let’s close our eyes together.”
My son closed his eyes, tears still streaming down his face, but becoming calmer with each big, deep breath.
“Now, let’s retrace your steps,” I said. “When you got home from school, what was the first thing you remember doing?”
“I played outside,” he said.
“Good! OK! So, you went outside. Did CoQui play outside too?”
“Yes,” he said, confidently.
“OK, let’s take another big deep breath. 1….2….3…. great job! Now, let’s think about where you went when you were outside.”
“I went to Beau’s house, and we played on the trampoline, and then…WAIT!” he exclaimed, eyes opening widely. “I know where CoQui is! He’s on the deck at Beau’s house, by the flowers!”
5 minutes and some flashlights later, we had walked through our backyard to our neighbor’s deck and located his precious CoQui, exactly where he said he was, “right by the flowers”.
After I tucked him and CoQui into bed, and we said our goodnights, he quietly called me back as I started to leave his room. “Mommy?” he said, “Thank you for helping me to stop crying so I could remember where CoQui was.”
My heart broke in all the best ways when he whispered those words.
Truth be told, I didn’t do anything to help find CoQui, but he did. Much like coaching, I was only there to help in re-centering him enough to raise his own awareness as to where CoQui could be. And once he was more centered, he not only had an idea of where CoQui was, but he knew exactly where CoQui was.
See, Bodie is much like all of us when we get stressed, filled with anxiety, sadness, and overwhelm. We can become stuck, clouded, and not always able to raise our own awareness to realize the strengths, wisdom, and love we still have within us.
All my son needed was a little nudge, and someone to be present with him. Maybe as you’re reading this, you do too.
Here is your nudge: You are loved. You are worthy. You are resilient. And you have everything within you to accomplish what you need to.
In your corner, friend.
