Ever have one of those life-altering moments where you know you’ll never be the same?
The first one I can remember occurred when I was seventeen years old. I had come home from a day at high school, started my homework, and fell asleep. Taking a nap at 4:00pm on a Wednesday was not normal for me, but looking back, it was almost as if my body and mind knew I was about to receive some shattering news.
I woke shortly before my mom and dad arrived home from a doctor’s appointment, both extremely somber. I remember my mom breaking down in tears, while doing her best to explain to me that she had been diagnosed with cancer. As she tried to reassure me that she “would be ok”, it was all I could do to just sit in shock and receive the news that my mother, one of my best friends and role models, one of the strongest women I knew, had just received a life-altering diagnosis, and one that was progressively far advanced.
In the weeks that followed, we did our best as a family to navigate all the changes that a cancer diagnosis brings with it. Schedule changes, doctors’ appointments, energy shifts, and learning more than we ever had before about insurance, medical terminology, and upcoming surgeries and treatments.
I remember vividly feeling as though I had been marked with a sympathy card taped to my forehead. It as though everywhere I went, and everyone I spoke to, only wanted to see how I was doing, how my mom was doing, and what meal they could drop off next. Now, please don’t get me wrong. The generosity of our community throughout this period of our lives will never be lost on me, but when you’re seventeen in your senior year of high school, all I can remember thinking was, “Why can’t anyone just treat me normally?! Why can’t we go back to talking about everything we did before this diagnosis?! None of this is fair!” In many ways, I became quite selfish, negative, anxiety-ridden, and deeply sad.
My mom on the other hand? She was the living demonstration of a strong mindset. She took something so incredibly difficult that life handed her, and she fully embraced it. She found laughter, friendships, faith, and courage she never knew she had. She took moments of sorrow and turned them to joy. For example, instead of grieving the loss of her hair, she created betting pools on when it would all fall out and rallied a community behind her. When it did start to fall out, she took her finger and drew my younger brother’s hockey jersey number on her buzzed brown-haired head and displayed it proudly in the stands at each of his games. She found wigs and headwraps that she wore proudly. She made friends with the nurses at chemotherapy sessions and had a dance party in her pre-op room before her surgery. She celebrated the end of her chemotherapy with a luxury trip to Chicago, complete with the finest pampering and laughter over bottles of wine.
She embraced the power of mindset.
And frankly? If I wasn’t in awe of her before her diagnosis, I was afterwards.
Certainly, at seventeen, her fierce demonstration of what it meant to shift a mindset into something that genuinely served her and those around her was a bit lost on me. But now, as a coach, I look back on this time with such gratitude; not only for the renewed health of my mom, but also someone who instilled in me that anything is possible when we shift our thoughts and believe in ourselves.
So, I would ask you, what circumstances are you facing in your life right now? Where could you use a mindset shift? What can you do to create more joy and peace in your life, even if it feels impossible?
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…In Your Corner.
